


Shards

by brightly_lit



Category: Princess Tutu, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Boarding School, Crack, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, Mystery, Platonic Romance, Romantic Friendship, Teen Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightly_lit/pseuds/brightly_lit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has lost his soul, and it's up to the angel Castiel to collect the shards and return them to him without letting anyone know what Cas really is ... but Sam's girlfriend Rueby and his brother Dean stand in Cas's way ....</p>
<p>A fairy-tale-esque retelling of how Supernatural's Sam's shattered soul/mind got put back together, based on the plot of Princess Tutu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shards

The angel Castiel sat, as s/he often did, watching the goings-on in the world below, particularly in the cursed town of Gold Crown Town, where fairy tales came true, people occasionally turned into animals, and nothing was quite as it seemed.  Beautiful Sam Winchester in particular had caught his/her eye--once a handsome young teenager, now a handsome young moose.  He and his older brother Dean had come to town with their father to try to lift the curse.  Instead, all three had been caught under Gold Crown Town’s spell.  Nonetheless, it was not that different from the world the Winchesters knew before, where prophecies came true, people turned into monsters and demons, and no one was quite as they seemed. 

 

Their father had run off with some wicked step-mother or other, abandoning Sam and Dean in the forest just outside town, where they had forgotten their lives as hunters and now attended a boarding school there.  The brothers had a tragic past, and an even more tragic future waiting for them.  It was painful, and beautiful, and bewildering.  All Castiel knew was that God had something special planned for them.  Castiel wished s/he could be part of it, but s/he had spent eons only watching, unable to participate in these strange, fascinating, exciting human lives. 

 

Then the lord was there, saying his/her name.  “Hey, Cas,” said the lord in his awkward way, appearing as a short, slight, unassuming-looking man.  “So, uh ... I get that you got feels for the human thing, am I right?”  Castiel squinted at him, confused by the way he spoke.  “So here’s the deal: one thing led to another, and, well, Sam--or as I think of him, Mytho--kinda lost his soul.  It’s down there, it’s just in pieces, and humans don’t have the power to collect the shards of his soul and put them back in him.  If you want the job, you’ve got it, only ... you know, there’s some rules.”

 

Castiel perked up immediately and bowed his/her head.  “Yes, father!  I would like that very much.  I’ll do anything!  I will certainly do my very best to follow the rules you give me; just tell me what they are!”

 

“’Kay, well, first of all, I’m getting a vibe from you ... you know, for Sam, but ixnay on the ovelay, ’cos the human/angel thing--”  He drew his finger across his neck.  “Not a good idea.  Plus, you and Sam--not in the cards, capiche?”  Castiel’s eyes darted around as s/he tried to fathom this great, divine idiom that was beyond his/her comprehension.  “Also, you know our policy on divine intervention--it’s not that it doesn’t happen, it’s just that we try to keep it on the down-low, so no angel stuff--halos, wings, all of it.  I’ll make you look human and everything, and you’ve gotta live like a human, so no praying for revelation or assistance or anything--you’ve got to do this on your own.  Got it?  If you pray--even if you just say my name--your wings will appear, and with the screwy stuff going on in that town, you’ll probably turn into a duck or something.  If you turn into an angel--or whatever--again, just find some water and it’ll turn you back into a human ... but try not to let it happen, ’cos if you mess up bad enough, your cover’s blown and my story’s screwed and Sam and Dean are stuck like this, forever.”  His father looked sad.  He was very committed to the story he was writing about Sam and Dean; it was basically the most important story ever told in the history of the universe.  Castiel was honored to have been chosen for such an important task, though nervous.

 

“Yes, father.  Really?  I ... get to be human?”

 

The lord looked at him/her, a funny, sad little smile on his face.  “Yeah, buddy, but it ain’t all fun and games, even though it might look like it from here.  Just sayin’.  This is probably the hardest job I’m handing out right now, really tough going, and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want.  I could probably get Raphael, maybe Zachariah ....”

 

“No, father!  Please.  Let me do it.  I very much want it.  Very much.”

 

The lord smiled that same smile again, and patted Castiel’s shoulder.  “Okay, then, my child.  Have fun, and remember: you’re there to save Sam, not to ... fill him with divine inspiration, if ya know what I’m saying.  I’m not sure what’ll happen if you tell him you love him, but I have reason to believe you would explode in a burst of light and that ... that would probably be the end of you.  Don’t let that happen, okay, Cas?  I’m pretty attached to you.  And hey, while you’re down there, could you figure out what’s going on in that town?  I mean, seriously, what the hell?  Weird.”  He shook his head.

 

“Yes, father, I’ll do my best,” Castiel whispered, and that was the last time he saw the face of God.

 

 

 

Cas walked to class with her roommates, Pikaebriel and Liliathazar--Pikae and Liliae for short.  “Do you suppose Sam’ll be in class today?” Pikae asked eagerly.  Pikae’s hair was more red-hued, while Liliae’s was more blond.

 

“If so, I’m sure Cas will probably trip over the doorsill and land face-down in his lap again like last week--do you remember that, Pikae?  I just love when Cas does stuff like that--it’s so cute!”  She noogied Cas, as Pikae also cooed over what a doofus she was, which comprised 90% of their conversation--Cas and her foolish behavior.  It was wonderful having friends!

 

“Cas tripped over your foot, Liliae--and she only landed in Sam’s lap because you gave her a push,” Pikae corrected.

 

“And then Mr. Bobcat got her in trouble for it!” Liliae remembered with glee.  “Cas turned all red and stuttered lame excuses and fell over a chair, and Sam saw the whole thing.  It was adorable!  There’s nothing better than seeing Cas humiliated, except seeing her humiliated in front of Sam!”

 

They arrived at the classroom door then, and Pikae whispered excitedly to Cas, “There’s your boyfriend, Cas!  Go get ’im!”

 

On cue, Liliae kicked Cas’s butt so that she stumbled in Sam’s direction, which would have been fine, except that--unused to her human body--she stumbled also over the feet and books of every student in her path and finally fell.  She was going to hit her head on the desk right next to Sam’s--but then Sam reached out and caught her, breaking her fall and saving her from a lot of pain.  Their eyes met.  Sam’s seemed vacant, but still, full of an inexpressible sadness.  Even without a soul, Sam still saved her.  He was kind, all the way down beyond his soul to his bones.  “Hey,” Sam said.  “Cas, right?”

 

Cas stood up, brushed herself off, and nodded eagerly.  “Thank you for your rescue, Sam Winchester.”

 

Sam shrugged.  “No problem.”

 

Cas sat down in her desk, just behind Sam, and gazed at the beautiful young moose, at his long ears twisting lazily, one toward Mr. Bobcat as he taught, one flicking back to catch Pikae and Liliae’s whispered conversation.  A folded-up piece of paper sailed past Cas’s head, launched by Liliae, to land on Sam’s desk, where he picked it up in his thorny hooves and read it.  He turned his shaggy, dark-brown head to gaze at Cas.  “You wanted to tell me you’re in love with me?” he asked, with interest but without feeling.

 

Cas turned red and muttered incomprehensibly.  She was an angel; she could not lie ... but then again, the last thing she wanted was to explode in a burst of light, stranding Sam and Dean here and ruining heaven’s plans for them.  She heard Pikae and Lilliae’s titters of delight.

 

“Miss Cas, is there a problem?” Mr. Bobcat suddenly hissed from the front of the room.

 

“N--no,” Cas stuttered.  “No, sir.  Sorry.”

 

Mr. Bobcat’s tufted ears flicked irritably outside his trucker cap, his eyes intent, then he turned back to the blackboard and started writing again, jabbing the chalk against it and dotting his ‘i’s hard.  “Idjits,” he muttered.

 

Sam’s eyes returned to the front of the room, having no interest, it seems, in Cas’s great revelation.  Cas didn’t explode in a blast of light.  Phew!  God had implied Cas herself would have to be the one confess her love before that would happen, but Cas hadn’t known before she became human that one’s friends might also eagerly do things that could cause one to explode.  Being human was entirely different from what she had expected--much harder, more frightening and inexplicable, its joys small and nebulous but somehow cumulatively adding up to much more than what they seemed to be on the surface.  She gazed longingly at Sam’s short, shaggy mane and thought of that sad look in his eyes.  He must miss his soul terribly.  Cas would have to get to work.

 

 

 

She found the first shard of his soul in the graveyard, wandering among the gravestones like a ghost.  No one else would have known it belonged to Sam, because it looked like a handsome young man, but Cas recognized him from when she would gaze upon him and his brother, before they arrived in Gold Crown Town.  Cas approached it hesitantly.  “Are you one of the shards of Sam Winchester’s soul?” she asked it.

 

“Yes,” it replied.

 

“What part of him are you?”

 

“I’m the good part.”

 

Cas was bewildered.  How could the lord love someone who was part evil?  “There’s a bad part of Sam Winchester?”

 

“There will be.”

 

Cas hesitated.  To introduce evil into Sam Winchester ... but her father had been specific about her task.  Well, Cas figured, no harm in putting the good part back in him, at least.  She would just see how it went with the next pieces of him.  Still ... how to return this part of him to Sam?  It was late.  Surely Sam would already be in his dorm room by now, and he lived on the third floor of the boys’ dorm; Cas would never be allowed inside at this time of night.  She could not reveal her identity ... but God must have chosen an angel for this task for a reason.  There was no one to see her right now.  Cas whispered her father’s name and felt her wings and halo appear.  She put her arms around the shard and took flight, carrying it back to Sam Winchester.

 

Cas found him in his dorm room with his roommate, Dean.  Dean was a senior and Sam was a freshman.  Cas alit on the stone ledge outside their bedroom window.  She couldn’t reveal that she was an angel, but how could someone have come to their third-story window except by flying?  Sam had little enough interest in such things, but Cas knew she must at least hide it from Dean, so she waited there and listened until Dean left the room or went to sleep.

 

“God, you give me the creeps,” Dean muttered to his brother.

 

“Sorry,” said Sam.

 

“What’s wrong with you, anyway?  I swear you weren’t always like this.”

 

“So ... moosey?”

 

“Nah, you were always a moose.  I mean this thing, where you don’t feel anything or care about anything.  What the hell, dude?  I get that you’re not that into Rueby, but don’t you even care about me, your own brother?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Gah, Sam!  And you even say it out loud like it’s no big deal??  I’m tellin’ you, there’s something wrong with you.”

 

“Sorry,” said Sam.

 

“And another thing--where’s Dad?  We have to find Dad.”

 

“Dad’s gone, Dean.”

 

“I know, but ... he wouldn’t just abandon us, would he?  Something about that doesn’t sit right, either, and I tell you, I’m gonna figure out what’s going on.”

 

“He put us in a school and then he left, just like he always does.”

 

“Yeah, but then he always comes back.  Doesn’t he?”

 

“I don’t know, Dean.”

 

“You don’t remember?”

 

“I don’t remember anything.”

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?  You’re freakin’ useless.  I can always count on you, right?  To help me figure out what the hell’s going on and fix it?”  Dean shook his head, dumping out the contents of his backpack onto a desk.  “Dumbass.”

 

Cas gasped softly on the ledge, pressing close against the building above the ledge, remaining as quiet as she could, so the few students still passing through the square below wouldn’t look up and see her there, her giant wings spread out along the walls beside her, halo gleaming in the moonlight.  Why was Dean so cruel to his brother?  And beautiful Sam just sat there and took it, never making any effort to defend himself or even find someone who would treat him kindly.  Perhaps it was the lack of his soul that caused this.  Cas felt renewed determination to restore all the pieces of Sam’s soul.  Then he wouldn’t suffer at the hands of his family like this.

 

As luck would have it, at that moment, Dean muttered something about “punishing the toilet” and wandered out of the room to the shared bathrooms.  Delirious with anxiety and excitement, Cas stepped through the open window into the room.  Sam glanced over at her from where he sat at his desk, doing homework.  “Oh, hey,” he said, and went back to his books.

 

“Hello, Sam,” said Cas, releasing the soul shard she held.  “I have something for you.”

 

“Oh, yeah?  What is it?”

 

“It’s a  ... a piece of the soul that you lost.  The good part,” she added, in case Sam took some convincing, but as with everything else, he showed no preference about this, simply submitting to what anyone asked of him.

 

Sam looked vaguely impressed, taking in the sight of the soul shard, which seemed eager to return to its home in Sam.  “Cool, thanks.”

 

The shard stepped up to Sam, said inexplicably, “Don’t scratch the wall,” and melded into him.  When Cas beheld him after the shard was once more a part of him, she could swear Sam looked a little less moosey.

 

Dean burst through the door just then, chortling, “Trust me, you don’t want to go in there for a while.”

 

“Oh, my God!” Cas cried, and leaped out the window, feeling her wings and halo become mortifyingly visible as she did.  She flew down into the bushes below the window, hoping she got away before Dean was able to identify who or what she was. 

 

Dean ran to the window and craned his head out of it.  “What the hell was that?!” Dean demanded of Sam.

 

“It was Cas,” Sam said, and Cas cringed. 

 

“What’s a Cas?!”

 

“She’s a girl in my class.  She’s friends with--you know those freshman girls I used to hate, Pikae and Liliae.”

 

“There’s a third one now?  Great.  The monster with three heads.”

 

“She does seem just like them in some way.”

 

“And she just jumps out the window?!  What is she, a bird or something?”

 

“Maybe.  Hey, Dean, what do you think of me?”

 

Dean turned around abruptly then, stunned.  “What?  You haven’t asked me anything like that since you started acting weird.”

 

“Yeah, Cas gave me back a piece of my soul.  ‘Don’t scratch the wall,’ it said.  Do you have any idea what that means?”

 

“Well, aren’t you suddenly curious George.”  Dean leaned back out the window, looking around suspiciously.  He peered intently into the bush where Cas hid, and Cas cringed, but Dean didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, and withdrew back into the room.  “Why was some chick from your class giving you back a piece of your soul?”

 

“I dunno.  I guess I lost it.”

 

“You LOST your SOUL??  What the-- How did that happen??”

 

“I think it happened when I met Rueby, but I can’t really remember.”

 

“And that’s another thing!  Stay away from Rueby!  How many times do I have to tell you she’s bad news?!  Look, I’ve got the solution to all our problems: don’t talk to anyone and just do what I tell you.  And--don’t talk to this ‘Cas’ until I figure out what’s going on.  Maybe she says she’s doing you good and she’s actually making you worse.  So don’t do anything!  Things are bad enough as they are.  Do as I say and stop asking questions I can’t answer.”

 

“You can answer when I ask how you think of me.”

 

“I don’t want to answer that.”

 

“Well then, what do I think of you?”

 

“I dunno, but you better love me, because I’m your brother, and I work my ass off taking care of you and all you do is complain, so shut it!  I’ve taken enough of your crap for one night.” 

 

Dean stuck his head out the window one last time, peered around suspiciously, then slammed it closed and locked it.

 

When she was sure no one was around, Cas crawled out of the bush, catching her halo on it and having to extricate herself from it.  Her wings dragging forlornly behind her, she dipped into the fountain in the middle of the common area, which turned her human again, and then she headed back to her own dorm room.

 

 

 

The next day in the cafeteria, Cas--awkward and clumsy as ever--ran right into Dean.  First he arighted her helpfully, then, holding her shoulders as he seemed to recognize her, he stared intently into her face.  “Wait a minute--what’s your name?” he barked.

 

Cas hedged and stuttered.  Sam had already told him the name of the person who gave him back the soul shard.  Her only hope of keeping her secret was not to tell Dean who she was.  Just then, Liliae appeared at her shoulder.  “This is Cas!” she cooed, so very helpfully.  “Isn’t she cute?”

 

“What were you doing in my room last night?” he demanded abruptly.

 

Liliae made a sound of joy and dashed back to watch the blowout from a safe distance, as most of the students in the cafeteria did--you didn’t mess with Dean Winchester.

 

Cas didn’t manage to come out with anything comprehensible before he huffed, “Stay away from my brother!,” turned, and stalked away.

 

“Or what?” Pikae called eagerly, watching with Liliae.

 

“Or else,” Dean growled menacingly, and strode out.

 

 

 

Cas managed to find another soul shard that night, roaming the halls of the science building.  “What part of Sam Winchester are you?” she asked it. 

 

She couldn’t help fearing it would announce it was the evil part, as she looked on its cool, calculating expression, but then it said, “I’m the smart one.”

 

Relieved, she took it in her arms and flew it back to Sam, who stood at his window alone in his room, gazing over the common area, wearing only a billowy white shirt.  He seemed to go around like that a lot.  Sam’s expression lightened and grew more focused as the soul shard stepped back inside him, then he looked down at himself.  “Why am I not wearing any pants?!”

 

Cas gazed on his beautiful visage.  With each new soul shard she collected, she loved him more.  It was all she could do to resist telling him her feelings.  Why this cruel, terrible rule?  Sam should know how wonderful and lovely he was, how good and noble, how deserving of all good things, when Cas knew he had such hardship before him.  Maybe ... maybe if she just whispered it, no one would know, and it would be all right.  She stepped up to him.  He helpfully leaned down so she could put her lips next to his furry ear.

 

She and Sam heard the key in the lock at the same moment, and looked toward the door.  Cas dashed for the window and dove out it, whispering her father’s name just in time to sprout wings before she hit the ground.  She hid in the bush below their window once again to listen. 

 

“Hey!” said Dean.  “I thought I told you to keep the window shut and locked!”

 

“I, uh ... I ... needed some fresh air,” said Sam, calcalating.

 

Dean sounded stunned and disbelieving.  “Wh--what did you say?”

 

“I mean, uh ... I forgot.”

 

“You’re lying?!  You’re sitting here lying to me??  You haven’t lied ... since ....”  It took him less than a second to put it all together.  “That chick returned another part of your soul to you, didn’t she!”

 

“Well ... yeah,” Sam admitted reluctantly.

 

Cas could hear Dean race to the window to look out again.  “There it is again!” he shouted, pointing.  “That thing, shining in the bushes!  I’m going down there, and I bet I know what I’ll find,” he hissed, ignoring Sam’s protests.

 

Cas’s breath quickened.  This was the thing that absolutely must not happen!  Sam and Dean’s lives were at stake!  There was no one in the square.  She might be able to get to the fountain in time to turn human again before Dean got there, but she definitely wouldn’t have time to get back to her room.  Still, it was far better than getting caught red-handed and gleaming-haloed.  She ran for the fountain, took a great leap, and splashed into it just as the entrance to the boys’ dorm flew open.  She was trying to climb out the other side, soggy clothes bogging her down, when Dean raced to her side.  His eyes narrowed, seeing who it was.

 

“It’s you!” he said, grimly victorious and utterly unsurprised.

 

“Tee hee!” said Cas.

 

“’Tee hee’ nothing!  What do you think you’re doing out here in the fountain in the middle of the freakin’ night?!”

 

“Oh, just ... taking a dip!” Cas exclaimed gaily, trying to act as girlish and carefree as her friends, though it didn’t come naturally to her.

 

Dean’s eyes passed sharply over the fountain.  “So you’re some kind of monster who needs water to change back into human form,” he guessed shrewdly.

 

“I’m not a monster!” Cas protested.

 

“A glowing, gleaming, evil monster.  What do you want with my brother!”

 

“N--nothing,” Cas lied anxiously, watching Dean’s fists ball up.

 

“I don’t beat up chicks, but I don’t hesitate to beat up monsters, so if you don’t stay the hell away from my brother, you’re gonna wish you never crawled out of purgatory or wherever you came from, ’cos I’m sending you right back there.”

 

Cas shrank from the cruel gleam in Dean’s eye.  He meant every word he said.

 

“I’m just a girl!” Cas cried, falling out of the fountain unceremoniously, scrambling to her feet, then heading back to the girls’ dorm at a run.

 

“Don’t think the wet t-shirt contest is gonna change my mind!” Dean called meanly after her.  Cas glanced down, gasped, and covered her chest with her hands as she ran.  Disaster!  Dean had come very close to figuring out what she was.  She had narrowly escaped being seen in angel form, by him or someone else.  She had even almost told Sam the very thing she was forbidden from telling him.  And Dean had seen way more than he should have!  Boy, humans had it rough.  She wasn’t sure she could do this, but if she didn’t, who would?  The lord had entrusted this task to her.  No matter what happened or how badly she humiliated herself, she must forge ahead and not falter.  Sam’s salvation ... and even mean old Dean’s ... was all up to her.

 

 

 

“Where are you going?” Liliae asked shrilly as Cas tried to leave their room.  “Are you going to stalk Sam Winchester again?  You really do love him!  That’s so cute!”

 

“Stalking’s illegal,” Pikae informed her bluntly.  “So try not to let anyone know you’re doing it.”

 

“Especially his brother Dean!” Liliae cooed.  “He’ll kick your ass!  Which do you think is cuter, Pikae: Sam or Dean?  We already know Cas’s vote.”

 

“I’ve always been a Dean girl, but Sam’s looking hotter lately; I don’t know what it is.  He’s a little less shaggy or something.”

 

“His long hair is the best!” Liliae protested.

 

“Short hair!” Pikae retorted.

 

“Long!”

 

“Short!”

 

Cas slipped quickly out the door while they were otherwise occupied with their argument.  Okay, so maybe she was kind of stalking Sam Winchester.  Kind of every day, you might say ... morning, afternoon, between classes, after dinner, listening in the bushes to his conversations with his mean brother, who had only gotten meaner since Sam got back some parts of his soul, constantly making fun of the questions he now asked him; for with the return of the good part of his soul, it seems he’d developed curiosity.  Maybe the good part of his soul made him even weaker to Dean’s harassment.  Maybe Cas didn’t have to return the evil piece of his soul, but maybe there was a strong part out there that would make him able to stand up to his brother.  Cas would have to find it.  But first, maybe a tiny bit of stalking, just so she knew where Sam could be found once she did find another piece of his soul ....

 

Cas found him where she often did, sitting under a tree with Rueby, staring vacantly up at the sky, his long shaggy limbs stretched out on the grassy slope, while Rueby studied and told him what to do.

 

“Say you love me,” she told him.

 

“I love you,” he said.

 

“Say you’ll be with me forever,” she said.

 

“I’ll be with you forever,” he said.

 

“Say you’ll do whatever I say,” she said.

 

“Dean said I have to do whatever he says.”

 

Her eyes flared.  “Screw Dean and the moose he rode in on.  You do what I say, not what that bitch says.”

 

“Actually, I’m the bitch,” Sam informed her.  “He’s the jerk.”

 

“He’s more than a jerk,” she muttered venomously.  “I can think of all kinds of words to describe--”

 

“What do you think of me?” Sam asked her suddenly, and she looked at him sharply.

 

“What?” she hissed disbelievingly.

 

“We’ve been hanging out all this time, and suddenly I realized, I have no idea what I think of you, whether I love you, or even like you.  Can’t really tell what you think of me, either.  Do you really love me?  Or are you just using me?”

 

“What in hell’s name made you start wanting to know stuff like that??”  She was livid.

 

“Cas gave me back a piece of my soul, and--”

 

“’CAS’?  Who’s Cas??”

 

“She’s a girl, in my class.”

 

“Who!  Where!  Where did she come from!”

 

“I dunno; she just appeared at my window one night and said she had something to give me--”

 

“’Appeared’?  Like, appeared appeared, or flew?  I guess I know what she must be either way ....  I’m gonna have to tell my father about this,” she said broodingly.  Just then, she looked up at where Cas hid in a thicket.  She couldn’t see her--surely, she couldn’t--but she could swear she knew she was there.  A cruel smile twisted her mouth as her eyes seemed to meet Cas’s.  Uh-oh.  Cas slipped out the other side of the thicket and went in search of the next piece of Sam’s soul.

 

 

 

She found it in a dark, dusty corner of the school library, feverishly reading _A Catcher in the Rye_ , and knelt down beside it.  It only hunkered harder over its book.  “Are you a piece of Sam Winchester’s soul?” she whispered to it.

 

“Yes,” it said sullenly.  Cas noticed the acne dotting its forehead and its long, gangly limbs.

 

“Which part are you?” she asked it gently, since it seemed to suffer from a kind of pain known to nearly every teen-aged human being.  Humans ... they suffered from the dangerous journey through the birth canal, they suffered from the bewilderment of toddlerhood, they suffered the agony of puberty.  Poor humans ... they suffered.

 

“I’m the part that remembers,” it said, and turned its back to her.

 

The part that remembers!  That couldn’t be evil.  “Come with me, Sam,” Cas said to it kindly.  “I’ll take you home.”  Home--yes, that’s where this piece of Sam wanted to go, more desperately than anything else.  It came with her eagerly, trying to hide its eagerness behind a thin veneer of cool. 

 

They walked hand in hand back to where Cas had left Sam with Rueby.  To her relief, Cas saw that Sam was now alone.  She stepped toward him--only to have the shard of Sam’s soul ripped out of her arms by Rueby!  “Get lost, junkless,” she hissed victoriously to Cas.  “You’re too late--Sam’s already evil.”

 

“You’re wrong,” Cas told her vehemently.  “He’s good, all the way down to his bones.  Nothing you did could change that.”

 

“Let’s find out, huh?” she said, and suddenly she disappeared, stealing away with the piece of Sam’s soul, already so saddened and damaged.  It reached desperately for Cas ... but then it was gone.

 

“NO!” cried Cas, and tried to follow, only to soon realize the place Rueby had taken it was protected by angel-proofing sigils past which she could not go.  She wandered sadly back to where Sam still lay on the hillside, and sat down next to him.  She couldn’t tell him she loved him, she couldn’t restore his soul ... she couldn’t do anything.  She felt small and useless.  God probably should have had Zachariah do it.  “I’m sorry, Sam,” she said sorrowfully.

 

Sam shrugged peaceably, unconcerned.  “Whatever.”

 

 

 

Cas lingered just outside the place Rueby had escaped to and was ready for her when she emerged the next day with her hostage.  The fight went much more easily than Cas had expected, considering she remained human through it, following the rules, and she managed to wrest back the piece of Sam’s soul from her.

 

She hurried to find Sam so that she could get the shard safely in him before Rueby found them again.  She caught Sam as he stepped out of the shower when there was no one else there with them in the boys’ bathroom.  Sam didn’t look surprised to see a girl in the boys’ bathroom ... but then again, he never looked surprised, mostly soulless as he was.  Water dripped from his ears and his tail.  “I have another shard of your soul for you!” Cas told him eagerly.  “It’s the part that remembers!”

 

The teenaged soul shard ran to Sam and embraced him tightly, as he used to embrace Dean, or their father.  It began to merge with him, and Cas was happy that he’d gotten it away from Rueby back to Sam, excitedly watching as Sam started looking now even more human ... until Sam started screaming.  He clutched the place where the soul shard had entered his body, writhing in agony.  “I remember!” he was shouting.  “Oh, God, I remember!”

 

Dean burst through the door.  “What the hell?!”  His eyes fixed on Cas.  “You!  What are you trying to do to my brother?!”

 

“I--I’m trying to return another piece of his soul--but something’s wrong!”

 

Rueby appeared in the doorway then, too, looking smug.  “I let my father have at it.  It’s been soaked in demon blood.  Good luck getting that out.”

 

“Hey, this is the guys’ bathroom, Rueby--get out!” Dean hissed irritably.

 

“What about Cas?” Rueby demanded.

 

“Cas is hot; she can stay.”

 

“I’m hot!”

 

“Hot but evil.”

 

“Don’t you want me to finish telling you what I’ve done to the shard?”

 

“I think I get the picture.  Demon blood, yada-yada ....”

 

“He’ll crave demon blood from now on!  He’s part evil!  In case you hadn’t figured that out.”

 

Cas clutched her face.  Oh, no!  This was what the first shard--which was evidently psychic--meant when it said there would be evil in Sam one day!  Cas knew no part of Sam was originally evil, but Rueby ... Rueby and the other demons had put evil where there had been only innocence.  Cas fell to her knees and wept.  She wished desperately that her father had chosen another angel for the job.  This human life was too hard.

 

 

 

Evil soulless Sam embarked on a new campaign: to sleep with as many of the girls on campus as possible, and Pikae was his first intended victim.  Fortunately, Cas--always stalking him--was there to save her from this terrible fate ... or, well, it wouldn’t have been that terrible, if rumors of his prowess were to be believed, but he would certainly have broken her heart when he moved on to the next girl.

 

“Sam’s kind of creepy,” Pikae remarked to her as Cas returned her safely to their dorm room.  “I’m stickin’ with Dean love from now on!”

 

Sam was a little annoyed by Cas’s “cock-blocking” ways, as he put it, but dismissed it as jealousy, offering to sleep with her as often as she liked.  Cas demurred, deeply troubled.  This was not the Sam she loved--not at all.  Perhaps with more shards of his soul returned, the effects of the demon blood would be diluted and he would return to his old self, or so she thought; instead, each new shard seemed to experience agony as it reentered him, and seldom did there appear to be any struggle between good and evil inside him with the introduction of another formerly pure part of himself.  Evil, it seemed, had already won within him, just as Rueby said.

 

She found another soul shard wandering the garden, gazing at all the flowers, a sweet smile on its face.  “Sam Winchester,” she whispered, and it turned to smile at her.  “Which part of Sam’s soul are you?”

 

“I’m the part that loves,” it said.

 

Cas’s eyes filled with tears.  On one hand there was the hope that love could overpower the evil and save him, but on the other hand, what if ... what if even Sam’s love were somehow sullied?  She took its hand.  “I know where Sam is.  I can return you to your home.  But--” she said as its expression brightened “--Sam is not as you left him.  He’s been made evil.”  She started to cry.  “A part of his soul was soaked in demon blood, and--”

 

“I still want to go,” it told her, sounding strong and determined.  “If anything can defeat evil, it’s me.  I can’t do any good hiding here away from where I’m meant to be.”

 

Cas nodded, choking back her tears, and took it back to Sam, who was just then romancing Anteaterina on a park bench and not getting very far with it.  He looked irritable and resigned to see Cas coming.  “Just a second,” he told Anteaterina.  “I’ll get rid of ’er, and then we can get back to ....”  He arched his eyebrows at her.  He got up and met Cas on the riverbank behind the treeline where they couldn’t be seen, muttering about striking out with Anteaterina.  Then his expression lightened, as if he’d realized something about why Cas might be there--although on this new evil Sam, his lighter expression also looked far more wicked.  “You finally decided you would say yes?” he said hopefully.

 

His words cut her.  She reminded herself it wasn’t the real Sam Winchester talking.  “I have something for you,” she told him, and the love shard stepped into view.

 

Sam rolled his eyes.  “How many more of these are there going to be?  I’m feeling pretty good now; I don’t think I need another one.”

 

He was so cold and so evil--unsurprising, since he lacked the capacity to love.

 

“Please--please at least take this one,” she begged him, holding back tears. 

 

The love shard stepped up to Sam, embraced him tenderly, and became one with him.  Cas eagerly watched Sam’s face for a sign that love had overpowered evil and he was saved.  There was a flicker of something in his expression--confusion, mostly, as if he couldn’t logically reconcile this new part of himself with what he already was--but the confusion died away soon enough and he gazed at Cas with hardly any more warmth or kindness than before.  “Well ... thanks,” he said perfunctorily.  “That’s the last one I need, okay?  If you want me to take another one, you’re gonna have to give me something in return, if you know what I’m saying.”  His expression was calculating.  “Otherwise, stay out of my business.  You’re worse than Dean.”  He turned and went back to Anteaterina, sliding onto the bench next to her sensually, saying, “I like your long, agile tongue ....”

 

Cas slumped down on the grass beside the river.  So this was the human emotion of despair.  As an angel, Cas couldn’t see how humans could succomb to it.  Now she couldn’t fathom how they ever did anything else.  She had already failed at everything she’d been asked to do.  Evil had become a part of Sam Winchester, despite all her efforts--and with only the third soul shard.  Love had not saved him; it had only given the evil inside him new power.  She was no closer to finding out why things were so screwy in this town.  Sam even knew her feelings for him.  Everything she had tried to do was in shambles.

 

She paid no attention to the sound of feet approaching, as she had no friends besides Pikae and Lilliae, and it couldn’t be them.  They would be running and giggling, perhaps planning to push her into the water or some other mischief.  No one else had any interest in her, except Sam, and his interest was only of the carnal kind.

 

Someone sat down beside her, and said, “Hey.”

 

She turned to look, and was astonished to see Dean.

 

“Cas, right?”

 

“Yes, Dean.”

 

“So what’s this with trying to put my brother’s soul back into him?  How’d he lose it, anyway?”

 

“Rueby’s father indirectly caused it to shatter.”

 

“So why ... why are you doing this for him?”

 

Cas sighed, staring deeply into the water.  “Because my father asked me to, and ... and because I wanted to.”

 

Dean stared intently at her for a long moment, then suddenly seemed to see something she must not keep very well hidden, since everybody--everybody--knew.  “You love him!” he gasped.

 

Cas glanced at him anxiously.  “Please ... please don’t say it out loud.”  She longed to tell him why, but even the words, “... because I’m not allowed to” could be enough of an admission to bring an end to her.

 

Dean looked out over the water sorrowfully.  “Yeah, well ... me, too.  I wasn’t sure about what you were doing at first, but ... obviously Sam needs his soul back, and looks like you’re the only one around who has the power to do it, am I right?”

 

Cas nodded.  She tried really hard to keep them at bay, but the tears kept filling her eyes, obscuring her vision, until finally she couldn’t help covering her face and weeping out loud.  “Only I can’t do it!  I thought if I just returned more pieces of Sam’s soul, he’d get better, but he only gets worse!  He’s as evil as ever, he just gets stronger and smarter all the time!”

 

“It’s okay!” Dean said.  Cas was shocked to feel a comforting hand on her arm.  Mean old Dean, of all people??  He was capable of kindness?  “It’s okay.  You just do your thing, getting him back the pieces of his soul, and I’ll try to figure out how to get the demon blood out of him.  I  mean, jeez, you can’t do it all on your own.”

 

Overcome with relief and gratitude, Cas turned and clutched Dean tightly, sobbing into his chest, as he awkwardly attempted to comfort her.  She’d hated and feared Dean so much ... but in the end, he was only doing his best for Sam, too, trying to protect him, as Cas was, from terrible, deceitful danger that seemed to come at Sam from all sides, and Sam there in the middle of it all, vacant and helpless against all these forces so much more powerful than him.  “I’ll help you,” Dean murmured, and then Cas was for the first time able to understand another baffling human emotion: hope.

 

It renewed her zeal to help Sam and gave her an idea.  “The answer to how to save Sam must be somewhere in Rueby’s lair.  I can’t go in there on my own, but with your help ....”

 

Dean grinned.  “Help Sam and screw Rueby at the same time?  I’m in.”

 

 

 

They crept into Rueby’s lair once Dean erased all the angel-proofing sigils so Cas could get in.  It was cavernous, dark, and hellish.  They searched through every section of the caves, creeping along quietly.  Some of the sections had underground lakes, but this posed no problem for Cas, since water only turned her human, and had no effect on her human form.

 

Only when they were far too deep in the caverns to turn back did they realize it was a trap.  Rueby was there, her father behind her.  Truly, he was evil incarnate.  His great black wings nearly spanned the cave.  Now fallen, his giant black wings spanned a distance greater than Cas’s ever could, just as he was infinitely more powerful than she. 

 

A battle ensued immediately.  Dean was badly losing, because Cas was virtually useless as a fighter in her human form.  She saw Dean thrown to the ground, saw him grunt and try to struggle, yet again, to his feet--indomitable Dean, who kept on fighting and fighting and fighting, even when there was no hope.  He’d always been like that.  There was only one thing she could do.

 

She whispered her father’s name, and her wings and her halo flared into existence.  She caught sight of the shock on Dean’s face, the awe, lit by her own light, before she turned to face Lucifer.

 

“Castiel!,” he said, surprised.  “Brother!--er ... sister!  Let me guess: dear old dad sent you down here to do his dirty work for him.”

 

“As you have sent your daughter to do your dirty work on Earth,” said Cas, voice strong with determination, though she knew she would fail when she tried to battle him.

 

“What, Rueby?  Yeah, she’s a good girl,” he said, while Rueby preened.  “She helped me a lot with Sam.  But you just had to go and undo all the good work I’ve done.”

 

“I will undo the rest, as well.  Return Gold Crown Town to normal.  Free the people from their animal forms.  Give them back their true identities.”

 

Lucifer made a face.  “Yeah ... I don’t know what the deal is with that town; whatever’s going on up there, that wasn’t me.  Freaky, though, am I right?”  He looked amused by the whole thing.

 

Cas cocked her head.  If he hadn’t done it, then who had?

 

He went on, enjoying his position of certain victory.  “So, sister, here’s what’s going to happen: I guess there’s going to be some kind of ‘fight’ between you and me, and then Rueby’s gonna kill Dean and shatter Sam’s soul again, and then I’ll finally have Sam right where I want him.”

 

Cas noted that he had specified that Rueby would be doing the killing.  He must still be powerless upon the Earth--against humans, anyway; even if not against angels.  This was good news--it meant that though she would surely perish, Dean might be saved.  “Dean,” she said quietly, just to him.  “Leave this cave now, and don’t look back.”

 

“Wh--why?  What’s gonna happen to you?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.  Go now; he can’t hurt you.”

 

“Well, I can’t just leave you here!”

 

“You can and you must.  Dean!” she said urgently, as both Rueby and her father began to circle her.  “Now!”

 

Dean struggled to his feet.  “Nope.  We leave together or we go down together.  There’s no other option.”

 

“Actually, there is,” said Sam behind them.  They both turned, shocked, to see him standing at the entrance to the cavern.  “Thanks for all the demon blood, Rueby,” he said.  “It’s about to come in handy.”  He stretched out his arm toward her and narrowed his eyes, concentrating as he stared at her.  They looked at Rueby, who was beginning to twitch.  Her expression grew pained, and she coughed.  Cas watched astonished as Sam used the power of the demon blood to draw the demon right out of Rueby and send it back to hell whence it came.  Her body dropped to the ground, now nothing more than an innocent girl.

 

“Come on; let’s get out of here!” said Dean.

 

“Bring the girl!” Cas cried urgently.  “We must save her, too!”

 

Sam ran and picked her up, and they hurried toward the entrance to the cave, Lucifer roaring behind them, in pursuit.  On the other side of the entrance to this interior cavern, Cas drew some markings on the stone wall in her blood.  She barely had time to finish the sigil before Lucifer lunged for the entrance--and was stopped by an invisible force.  He could no more cross an angel-proofed boundary than Cas could.  He was trapped inside the cavern where they’d found him.

 

Dean couldn’t resist rubbing it in from the safe side of the cave entrance, making rude gestures and slapping his butt, before Sam managed to drag him out of there, home, to their room.

 

 

 

Sam nursed the human girl Rueby back to health in their room, upon which she was able to return to her room in the girls’ dorm, but Sam and Rueby spent more and more time together.  Cas collected and returned more shards of Sam’s soul as she watched Sam and Rueby slowly fall in love.  Even though the demon blood was still inside Sam, apparently the love shard had made this possible ... but for some reason, he never felt such love for Cas, even though it was she who was restoring him.  Maybe if she were able to tell him how she felt, he could begin to see her that way ... but she would never be able to, which seemed like the cruelest irony.  It was agony for Cas to see Sam fall in love with another girl right in front of her face ... but she was an angel.  Her father had told her these were the rules, and she had accepted them.  Who was she to believe she deserved anything more? 

 

So she did her job, and made herself smile and be happy that Sam was becoming more himself ... except for the demon blood.  With the addition of the love shard, he had enough feeling for Dean to come searching for him and save him in the cave, enough feeling to fall in love with Rueby ... but it was hard for him to keep his evil impulses at bay, and they were no closer to figuring out how to rid him of it. 

 

Cas scoured the town and the forest, as far as the city walls would allow, and found every last shard of his soul.  All four of them hoped fervently that with the return of the last shard, he would finally be purified.  Even if Sam didn’t love her, Dean, at least, had respect for her now, and gratitude for all she did.  Sam was grateful when she returned the last shard, but though he tried to hide it so as not to disappoint them, it was soon obvious the demon blood still acted on him.

 

Rueby was some help in their quest to heal Sam, as she was able to remember a little of what happened when she was possessed by the demon.  She was able to tell Sam and Dean and Cas how they soaked the shard in demon blood ... but once Cas heard the story, she was filled with an even greater despair than before, for she knew now exactly what her brother had done, and that it was not something that could be undone.  She begged her leave of them, wandered across the square and through the town, finding herself once again beside the river, staring down into its depths.  Tears streamed silently down her face.  She had failed.  Sam and Dean were doomed.  The story was ruined.  Even all the people of Gold Crown Town were trapped here in this fairy-tale land where they couldn’t tell fact from fiction. 

 

She wished with all her heart she’d never been so foolish and selfish as to ask to become human.  She was not up to the task, and besides, she could not make one single thing she’d ever hoped for come true--not only for herself, which would have been bad enough, but at this point she would be satisfied if she could make one good thing happen for anyone else, and she couldn’t even do that.  She tried to be happy for Sam and Rueby--no, she WAS happy for Sam and Rueby--but even their love had been sullied by Cas’s failures.

 

Dean found her there.  “Hey, you took off pretty fast.  What’s going on?”  He caught sight of her tears.  “What’s wrong?!” he gasped.

 

“I returned the last shard of your brother’s soul,” she told him, “and still--and still--”

 

She saw Dean’s face crease with horror equivalent to her own at the news.

 

“If even love wasn’t enough to make him good again ....  You and your brother, and even all the people in this town, are lost because I could not save him.  There is no way to erase the evil from his soul, or ... unless ....”

 

Cas suddenly had an idea.  It would probably mean the end of her ... but at least it wouldn’t mean the end of Sam, or Dean, or the story her father was trying to write about them.  If she did what she wanted, with all her heart, to do, she would explode in a burst of light, which would be the end of her, anyway.  Maybe she was doomed from the start.  She could sacrifice herself for this ... couldn’t she?  God sent an angel for a reason.  There was something Cas could do that no one else could do.  “I can’t fix it, but I may be able to shift it ....”

 

She headed for the boys’ dorm at a run, Dean on her heels.  When she burst through their bedroom door, she found Sam alone, lying on his bed.

 

“Oh, Sam,” Cas cried.  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to save you from all your pain, but I can do this much for you ....”  She leaned over him, touching his head, collecting the evil demon blood and bringing it into herself.  Both of them writhed in pain as it went from one to the other of them, as Dean looked on helplessly.  When the transfer was complete, Cas collapsed.  Dean caught her just in time before she crumpled to the floor.  He shouted her name, but she only stared blankly, as if she was the one who had lost her soul.

 

“Oh, God,” Dean groaned.  “Sammy!  Are you okay?  Are you still evil?”

 

Sam felt his head in wonder.  “Yeah, Dean.  Yeah, I’m fine.  I can feel that the--the demon blood is gone!”  He sat up and looked at the two of them, and he looked agonized.  “But Cas--”

 

“Not so good.  Help me get her on the bed.”

 

They lay her gently on Dean’s bed, where she stared at the ceiling, unblinking and unseeing.  Sam hunkered down next to him to look and see if he could help out with Cas, and he did seem better--way better, and looking mostly human now--or again, or something; he couldn’t seem to remember what he’d looked like when they were little.  The evil was gone--Cas really had managed to remove it, at great cost to herself ... but Dean knew his brother better than anyone else on Earth--better even than he knew himself, anymore--and he wasn’t all there.  There was still a piece missing. 

 

 

 

They kept Cas in their room in Dean’s bed, and the brothers shared Sam’s bed.  She couldn’t take care of herself--couldn’t even move.  The last thing she needed was to go back to those evil roommates of hers.  Everything sucked--everything.  Here Dean was, stuck with a still-partly-soulless brother, and a comatose girl--the only girl who knew how to return the part of Sam that was missing.  Meanwhile, Dad still wasn’t back, Sam still had burning and itching where he’d be better off not having it, and his brother was getting taller by the day.  Soon he would overtake Dean, his four-years-older brother!  The world had gone to hell in a handbasket!  Fortunately, that had been happening almost since Dean could remember; he knew all about how to deal with that.  Plus, he kicked ass at hand-to-handbasket. 

 

It was Cas he was really worried about.  An angel.  A real-life, flesh-and-blood angel.  Dad had always said they didn’t exist, but apparently even dad didn’t know everything.  God had cared enough to send down an angel to try to help little Sammy.

 

 

 

 

Cas had been like this for weeks.  Dean couldn’t stand it anymore.  He broke down and did a ton of research in the library.  He paged feverishly through Dad’s journal.  He even got desperate enough to try to ask their teacher and Dad’s hunter friend Mr. Bobcat about it, since Dad still hadn’t come for them, and after hissing and growling and cussing a lot, Mr. Bobcat had finally said it didn’t sound like anything he’d ever heard of. 

 

That afternoon when no one else was around, Dean sat on his bed next to Cas and stared down at her pretty face.  As a general rule, he wasn’t into freshmen--he preferred older women, in fact--but there was something about Cas that seemed wise beyond her years, an old soul.  He took her slack hand in his.  He kissed it.  He knew it was Sam she loved, so Dean wouldn’t think about her that way, couldn’t afford to.  It was just that she was so ... good.  She’d done everything she could to help them, getting nothing for herself.  She’d sacrificed herself for his brother.  It wasn’t fair that this is what she got in exchange.  His eyes filled with tears.  He’d tried everything--fighting, spells, even research--but it got him nowhere.  “Please,” he whispered, the tears finding their way down his cheeks.  “Please, God, save her.”

 

His eyes were closed, praying.  When he opened them again, Cas was sitting bolt upright, her wings and halo bright and vivid, her eyes open.  He practically fell off the bed.  “Oh, my God!  Cas?  Is it you?  Are you all right?”

 

She turned to him and smiled.  He was so happy to see some sort of expression on her face, he could have gotten up and done a pirouette.  “Yes.  I’m all right now.”

 

“Oh, thank God!”  He threw his arms around her.

 

“Dean,” she whispered fervently, holding him back gently. 

 

There was something in the hug, some sort of deep, unfathomable longing.  She must be thinking of Sam, wanting him, Dean figured, so he blurted out, “You’ve got to tell him how you feel, Cas, and now, or ... or it’ll be too late.  Maybe it already is.  He and Rueby ....”

 

Dean saw the ripple of pain pass across her expression, so why did she then force a smile to her face?  “Sam and Rueby should be together.”

 

“No, they shouldn’t!” Dean protested, outraged.  “I know she’s supposedly good now and everything, but ... I don’t know, I still don’t trust her.  Tell him how you feel.  Maybe ... maybe then ....”

 

“No,” she said, trying to be strong, but Dean saw a couple little tears escape anyway, and she turned her face away to hide them.  “Dean,” she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady, “I can’t.”

 

He heard in her tone something he understood well.  It was the same kind of “can’t” he meant when his father had given him an order he couldn’t disobey.  He just nodded.  “Okay,” he said simply.  “I get it.”

 

There was a silence as she tried to pull herself together, struggling to get all the parts of herself she wasn’t allowed to express under control again.  This kind of struggle was as familiar to Dean as breathing, had been since he was four.  He politely looked away and acted like everything was cool, not remarking on it, until she could speak again.

 

“Is Sam all right now?” she asked, her voice quavering only slightly.  For a tiny freshman girl, she had a toughness Dean couldn’t help but admire, the same kind of toughness he’d always aspired to.  The two of them had way more in common than she and Sam did.  So why didn’t she have those feelings for Dean?  Didn’t matter; she just didn’t.

 

“Yeah!  Yeah, Cas, he’s ... great.  The demon blood’s gone.”  He didn’t have the heart to tell her he was still missing a part of his soul.

 

“Good, then I have only one more task.”

 

 

 

How much time Cas had spent with Sam and Dean had made Pikae and Liliae even more jealous, so they were more horrible than ever, and Dean had finally suggested Cas continue to live with him and Sam in their room, which she agreed to without a moment’s thought, as if it had never occurred to her that there might be a reason why girls and boys had separate dorms.  Living with Sam and Dean meant she got to spend lots of time with Sam, which thrilled her.  Dean felt a bittersweet joy of his own, to see her so happy.  Still, her happiness waned the more time she spent with Sam, until one late morning after Sam had gone to class, she confessed to Dean, “Sam still doesn’t seem ... quite himself.” 

 

Dean deflated.  “Yeah,” he admitted.  “I think ... I think there’s still a piece missing.”

 

She looked confused.  “But--I’ve searched the whole town and the surrounding forest, to every wall.  There are no more shards here.”

 

Dean couldn’t let her see how the news crushed him.  She’d been ready to give her life to save Sam--even just to save Dean.  She’d tried so hard--she’d done her best.  Was Sam doomed to be not quite a whole person forever? 

 

 

 

Cas kept talking about how there was something wrong with this town.  She claimed people didn’t turn into animals in other towns, and that they could remember their pasts.  Was that really true?  The fact was, Dean couldn’t remember, so he figured she must be right.  He’d had some sense that something was off since they came here, but if he had to guess, that wouldn’t have been the thing he thought was the problem.

 

“Really?” Cas asked him in her calm, kind way as they walked along the river.  He and Cas often took evening walks together, since Rueby and Sam were always hanging around in their room at this time of day, making eyes at each other, blech.  “Hmm.  Then, if you had to, what would you say is wrong with it?”

 

Dean scowled.  “I dunno,” he muttered.

 

Cas only gazed up at his face, waiting.  His grouchiness never bothered her.  It was like she understood him.  She knew he was just embarrassed, and if she waited, he’d answer eventually.

 

“Well,” he finally growled irritably, “I dunno, but I’ve always hated those bitch roommates of yours.  I mean, what the hell?  Those girls have been making eyes at me and Sam since we got here, and they’ve always just pissed me off.  How did you even end up with two roommates, anyway?  I thought it was only two people to a room.”

 

Cas quirked her head.  How had she ended up with them as roommates?  She couldn’t remember.

 

“And why did Sam go after Pikae?  He always hated her just as much as I did.  So why was she the first one he wanted to ... you know, when he turned evil?  It doesn’t make any sense.  Plus, I saw her that night you jumped in the fountain.  She was watching from your room, grinning like the psycho she is.”

 

Cas’s eyes flew wide.  If Pikae had seen her jump in the fountain, then she must have seen her angel form!  “Pikae ... Pikae knows?” she whispered.

 

She turned mid-stride and started heading for the dorms.  Dean followed.  Maybe Cas could take on Lucifer, but an evil high-school freshman girl?  Dean knew he’d better stay close by.

 

They found Pikae alone in a hallway, smirking at them.  “... Yes?” she said.  “Didja finally realize you’re interested in _moi_ , Dean?”

 

“The jig is up,” he told her unceremoniously, shoving her up against the wall.  “We know you’re somehow to blame for ... actually, I’m just gonna blame you for everything until I have some more information, so out with it!”  To Dean’s surprise, Cas stood beside him, helping him pin Pikae there, staring seriously into her eyes.

 

Dean watched, astonished, as Pikae transformed into a smirky, hazel-eyed man.  “Ya caught me,” he said, as Cas gasped. 

 

“Gabriel?” she exclaimed.

 

“In the flesh,” he said proudly, gesturing to himself.  “Though I go by ‘Loki’ now.”

 

“Trickster god,” Dean muttered.  “Great.”

 

Cas lifted her chin, unamused.  “You’re to blame for what’s wrong with Gold Crown Town.”

 

Gabriel looked most pleased with himself, then started laughing helplessly.  “Your brother ...,” he gasped, soon laughing so hard he could barely get the words out, “the moose!”

 

Dean frowned irritably, but he was all business.  “Fine,” he said to Cas, “how do we kill this thing?”

 

“We don’t,” Cas said, still reeling from the revelation.  “He’s an angel.  Gabriel,” she said sternly, “make things right in this town.  Our father is displeased.  Sam and Dean could have been killed, and Sam is still missing part of his soul!”

 

“Now now,” Gabriel said quickly, “you can’t blame me for that; that was all Lucifer.  I was just having a little fun here in Gold Crown Town, then lo and behold, along come the Winchesters!  Suddenly, it was twice as fun!”

 

“Set it right,” Cas commanded.

 

Gabriel looked disappointed, like she’d just ruined all his fun.  “Fine,” he pouted, beleaguered, and gestured again.  Dean felt memories flood back into him and he staggered back.  How could he have forgotten everything--everything that happened in their lives, everything he and Sam had been through??  He remembered now.  “Happy now?” Gabriel said irritably.  Cas, noting Dean’s strong reaction, let Gabriel go uncertainly.  Gabriel smirked at them one last time, chortling, “A bobcat in a trucker cap!,” snapped his fingers, and disappeared.

 

Cas rushed to Dean’s side.  “Are you all right?”

 

“Yeah,” Dean gasped.  “Yeah, I’m okay ... just ....  Why are you looking at me like that?”  She was staring deep into his eyes, and Dean couldn’t help the sudden hope that burst through him, thinking maybe, just maybe, she was looking at him like that because .... 

 

“I just found the last soul shard,” she whispered.  She gently placed her hand on Dean’s heart, then drew it away, and out of Dean stepped another ghostly image of Sam.  “What part of Sam are you?” she asked it, awed, as Dean stared, bewildered.

 

“I am the part that is my brother,” it said.

 

Cas’s eyes lit up.  “Of course,” she said.  “Sam could never be whole without his brother.”  She smiled at Dean, her eyes sparkling, and took his hand.  “Shall we find Sam?” she said.

 

 

~ The End ~


End file.
